No more cigars for me.
I'm done : )
Monday, May 24, 2010
Love still believe when you don't.
Her eyes have lost their luster. The innocence of love has been stripped and reality has drawn the curtain call on her visage.
Watched Twilight tonight, and I really enjoyed it. It was romantic, and passionate, and exciting, and most of the cinematography was pretty legit and not too tacky [for a vampire movie]. I never thought I’d enjoy it, but I guess you just have to give things a shot sometimes. And I think it helps that I never watched any trailers or anything before hand, so it was all fresh to me. But I liked the meaning behind the film, and the insinuation of love that it showed. It was really cute. And Kristen Stewart’s acting of course, is like a train wreck you can’t turn away from, so that also drew me in to the film in a weird sort of way…haha
I loooove this song right now: Love Never Fails – Brandon Heath
I’m babysitting tonight, and I love this family and house…and I just met them! They have a pretty small house, but it’s so plain and simple and stripped of everything unnecessary that it’s quaint! All the floors are wooden, so it makes the areas seem spacious. Their decor looks like a modern cottage with a craftsy feel. The wife was telling her husband about the best part of her day today, and it was watching the three kids (all under seven) play with a new radio and find different stations together. That’s love! Oh, it was so sweet, and made me smile. Their lives are centered around their children and their childrens joy, and around each other, and it’s so sweet. I tell you…everytime I babysit, I see something new, and learn something new about families and myself. I love it.
A part of me feels absent. But God is there to fill me up again whenever I feel down. So much can be raining down on me right now, like it is, but God is here to encourage me to say, “let it come, and just let it pour!” I’m ready for it…so bring it on.
The greatest thing is just to love, and be loved, in return
Friday, May 7, 2010
mmmmdelicious
SO...
Yesterday consisted of AMAZING.
1. Had a decent day at work.
2. Spent over 2.5 hours with God, a lot of which was outside at Maymont! Learned and saw a lot of things that I really needed and wanted to see:)
3. Annemarie came over and made delicious sweet potatoe gnochi!
4. Played with the bunnies all night.
5. Cleaned out their pin, bought them new toys and new bedding!
6. Had a great devotional with Lauren that night.
7. Got a great nights sleep!
I love nights like these...days like these! Where you just can't seem to wipe a smile off of your face. It's an amazing feeling, and should be treasured! It was such a simple day - but there is happiness, and there is joy in simplicity. I love it :)
Thanks for the awesome gnochi Annemarie! You are an awesome cook:) Even with all the random blobs ; )
Men need to mature up and realize they need to come to this realization now instead waiting till their 25 and it's too late. They should know it's coming, so why not just speed up the process??...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
vacancy
V a c a n c y . . .
The state of my heart…
Why has life become confusing?
Why has love been lost?
I’m wondering if it’s true when people say fairy tales, and true love don’t really exist….
I would hate to believe it’s true.
I refuse.
I won’t believe it’s true.
People can find happiness, and they can find it together.
God, Support, Tolerance, Accepting, Joy, Patience, Kindness, and LOVE make it true.
Missing those sunny days.
Those breezy, warm days.
Bike rides together…wind on our cheeks.
Smiles and laughter and talking with old men.
This was love. This was real.
I was upset, but the love was real.
It always was.
God holds my heart, he holds the key.
The only way to my heart is with the key…
One has to find the key in order to unlock it.
It’s broken pieces lay shattered…
But it’s not too late. It’s never too late.
God is healing, God is loving.
But human compassion is part of his love. Part of his plan.
Vacancy is not what he has planned.
So I know it won’t last long.
The joy of the Lord…
The state of my heart.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
adorable moment #5
Okay, so this moment was actually done by me... but it made the girl smile, which made me smile! But the warm and fuzzy, "you can feel your heart smiling" kind of smile.
Last night I got a one and a half hour "nap" before waking up for my class. I got there kinda early so I went to get some breakfast to go from shafers. I was gathering my food, when I noticed a girl grumbling about leaving her student ID (the thing you buy food with) back at the dorm, as she put away all the food she got. I was SO out of it, and so tired, so my mind went on auto pilot and I just did whatever came to my mind. I stopped her, and was like, "Hey, go grab those things, I'll get it for you.", "Really??" "Yeah, no problem! Get whatever you want." She was so happy. Which made me smile. I was so tired that I was just kinda doing whatever my mind led me to do, and I'm really glad it led me to do that instead of zone out. The girl was really appreciative, and I'm sure it was a good start to her day. I just thought that was exciting : ) Made me smile, haha even though I was the one doing it!
Gosh, I feel so happy today... I don't know if it's because you guys are praying for me or not, but I feel so happy. All day at work, I was in the most cheerful mood. I helped a wife unstrap her husbands wheel chair, and get him in to the building when she needed help. I didn't snap at anyone at work. I was nice to our billing department (one of them is a b*tch). And it was just a good day. I just felt really happy and at peace inside. Randomly I would feel a little sting, and start to shake a little, starting in my heart, and then my knees...but I get used to it. I always wonder if that's a way that my heart tells me something is going on with the situation. Yet, I never know if it's good or bad. But I don't like the stinging.... it's pretty much a real physical sensation (unlike the shaking...which is legit). I don't know... I physically feel a lot of my emotions. Which is why it can be hard to hide them sometimes.
So, I earned enough money to pay off the prom building today! Now I just am looking forward to everyone else signing up last minute ; ) Everything is coming along. I knew I didn't have to worry or stress about it, because God is in control :D
Gotta love God!...Love this THIS means more.
When I'm Alone
You've breathed something into life... you were there since the beginning, putting all of your hopes and dreams and best wishes into it. Was that ever a bad thing? Is it bad to show so much love, even if it's not reciprocated? Is it a bad thing to truly believe in something and love it, care for it, and be there for it as much as you can? When do you know when you have put too much into something?
I think it's never a bad thing to love. I think loving is the best gift that our father can give us. It enables us to show affection, show our appreciation for a person, and it allows us to connect with someone on a deeper level. Love is an amazing thing - never to be taken for granted.
We're starting a book series in church called, "Rich Towards God". It's about being giving, and honestly loving that... and being rich towards God. NOT storing up your treasures on earth - but in heaven. I have learned over time, that I love to give.... I enjoy it so much. Even more so most of the times than receiving something myself. I love to put work and thought into the things I make, or do. I love to give to people - I don't like to hold back because of "money". If I had money to give to those hungry, or in need, and give someone a job who needed a job - I would be the first one to do it! I can't wait to get into that stable financial point in my life where I can do that, and become the giver I know I was meant to be. ...But anyway, but to topic. So far, I've read the first chapter, and I really like it. I'm going into business, so I'm thinking that reading a book like this will be good to keep me grounded as I will be dealing a lot with money, especially from the view point of a liberal school. But I like the book a lot so far, and am excited to finish reading it.
I'm loving my Lord right now. The birds are already singing and the sun hasn't even risen yet. The ground is wet by the fresh rain; the sky was grey against the vibrant bright trees yesterday afternoon which I always love; My hyacinths are fully bloomed in the back and making my yard smell so fragrant; I have a black bean burger awaiting me in the fridge for tomorrow; Everything is going somewhat smoothly for prom so far; and GOD is in control. I am loving life right now, and just feeling like a "feather"...waiting for God to blow me to my next destination (Lauren).
When I'm working...it's hard.
When it's night time...It's harder.
When I'm alone...It's the hardest.
And the worst part is knowing that this family wasn't/isn't wanted.
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